The federal government has come out with a revised version of the "food pyramid," which now is shaped more like a pie--a sugar-free, no-flavor apple pie, no doubt.

After close examination of the new guide to healthful eating, we were struck by the absence of two life-sustaining food groups: wine and chocolate.

Fortunately, the Oxnard Convention & Visitors Bureau in California has come up with a culinary program to address this obvious oversight. It not only embraces the aforementioned food groups, but also includes a group that is a part of the new pyramid/pie: cheese.

One weekend each month, the bureau offers wine, chocolate and cheese tours. It's a five-hour trip that costs $85 per person, and includes stops where wine, chocolate and cheese are treated as artisanal products.

Tours depart from Oxnard's California Welcome Center, so parking is no problem, and tour takers must be at least 21 years of age, for obvious reasons.

For further information and a schedule of upcoming tours, call 805-988-0717, or visit: visitoxnard.com.